I am going to call attention to a group of people that my heart goes out to, Moms with ADHD. These Moms are warriors.
It may surprise you but I am one of those ADHD Moms.
I wasn’t diagnosed until I was 35 years old. Looking back now, it was completely obvious that I had ADHD. I have a form of it that makes me hyper-focus on things and get completely lost in my own head. Which then, in turn, triggers negative thoughts of how worthless I am because I am not managing to keep up with everything else.
Being a Mom is chaotic but a Mom with ADHD has it even harder.
Not only is she trying to manage to keep up with herself, she is now managing all the little ones around her. Let me tell you it is a struggle.
I have timers and alarms for everything.
I set an alarm to go off so I can remember to take my son to soccer practice or to take the garbage to the curb on garbage day. Most people would probably remember those things or just put them on a calendar. I actually need alarms going off to tell me these things
So many people think I have it all together but I don’t.
I try really hard, every single day of my life to be the Mom I should be, that I need to be for my boys. Someday I hope to be a better wife to my husband, but right now I seem to fail all of the time.
I can’t remember dates.
Don’t even ask. I haven’t been able to remember my mother’s birthday my entire life. Not even once. I love her and I try really hard but I fail year after year. But I don’t give up.
I have to have a list to organize my thoughts each day.
I literally follow a list to get the housework done. If I don’t things get forgotten about.
Having ADHD has made my life so hard but I also know that it has blessed my life.
I have an enthusiasm for things that most people don’t even notice. The little things excite me, like all the dragonflies that came to visit me in my garden this year. I tend to be able to communicate really well with children and they gravitate towards me. They love me because I am genuine with them and they can sense that.
I can hyper-focus on a problem until it is accomplished and fixed.
This is the reason I have excelled and been promoted in every career field I have ever been in. Except being a Mom.
Being a Mom is hard.
There is noise all of the time. I am super sensitive to noise and I sometimes have to wear headphones just to block out the sound. Schedules overwhelm me. I don’t enjoy planning, it completely freaks me out. If it gets too chaotic, I hide because I can’t process the information fast enough. I love quiet and simple things because focusing in a cluttered room is impossible for me.
It’s like a constant train of thoughts run through my head.
I relate well to Lorelai Gilmore on Gilmore Girls. When she gets started on something it just keeps going and going. For me, it goes a lot like this.
“What am I going to make for dinner? We could have pork. Oh, wait we had that last night. We could have soup…everyone hates soup. Soup. Soup Nazi like on Seinfeld? Seinfeld is funny, I wonder why it isn’t on Netflix. I wonder what is on Netflix? Oh yeah, Friends is on Netflix. Friends is funny but they are always drinking coffee. I don’t like coffee but I like hot chocolate. Hot chocolate is hot. It is too hot for hot chocolate. Oh, wait why is it so hot? Oh, crap the oven is on! Why did I turn on the oven? Oh yeah to make dinner….”
Then anxiety hits as I realize I just spent 10 minutes going in circles in my head. Luckily my family is used to me and loves me anyway.
So, for you fellow ADHD Moms out there, I give a shout out.
I love you with all of my heart. I feel your pain deep inside my soul and I am with you 100%.
We have to try hard every day to control our anxiety and ADHD symptoms. Many of us have learned coping mechanisms over the years but can always benefit from others input. So, if you have something that works for you reply in the comments. You never know who it could help.